Counting Down

2 Mondays left for going home to leave the place that I am used to calling ‘home’.

This is the best year of my life ever. I already felt all kind of the season; sunny summer, falling autumn, frozen winter and blossoming spring. I am not cursing anymore when the earth is trembling or the wind is attacking. I am not puking anymore when the casserole is too creamy and the steak is too thick. I am not crying anymore when the list of the assignments are waiting meanwhile the deadlines are blocking.

This is my life that I am heading. But this is still my way that I am walking. I have to run to pursue the unseen blurry future while in the same time I want to spin around and around to see other sceneries that probably missing. So, what I’m supposed to do for the best now and the better future? My hand could not grab wider enough.

I am still leaning on the wall, trying to bump my head when I realize that I could not see any clear enough view through the keyhole of the door; too small for my big eyes. Should I go to surgery to fix my eyes? Or is it cheaper to change the door with the bigger keyhole?

I am thinking again about what I already achieved here; if there are some. Do I get it? Do I forget it? Do I forget that I do not get anything at all? Do I get fooled of myself by myself?

Those are all “Do I”.

How about “do you”?

Do you think I got something?

Do you know if I am now such a cow?

Do you see that I am drowning in the sea?

Do you still look at me now? and then? Now and then?

Arcata, Monday, April 26, 2010

Artikel Terkait